The Year of Magical Thinking has been everywhere for the past so long. I feel like everyone has read it. So, recently in my mindful thrift books haul, I picked it up. And I read it. And it was kind of sad. No wonder the last guy who had the book inscribed it with sharpie as a gift with, "To make you cry. Love, Andy."

Way to pick a gift book, Andy.

“Life changes in the instant. The ordinary instant.” 

“Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it. We anticipate (we know) that someone close to us could die, but we do not look beyond the few days or weeks that immediately follow such an imagined death. We misconstrue the nature of even those few days or weeks. We might expect if the death is sudden to feel shock. We do not expect this shock to be obliterative, dislocating to both body and mind. We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss. We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool customers who believe their husband is about to return and need his shoes.”

This is a book for those who don't want to feel alone. Those who have lost someone and need to simple, yet beautiful words, and definitions of medical jargon to fully understand and come to terms with how life is changed.

This book acts a journal for Didion, I believe.

A memory.

About the Author

The other day I went on the magical site of Thriftbooks, as you know if you have been reading my struggle through life in my reoccurring Change My Life updates.



When I go on Thriftbooks however, I get a little book happy. Used books are my favorite thing most of the time and Thirftbooks is like a very large internet version of the best used book store ever.

First off, the books I get usually are all broken in, making these paperbacks floppy in all the right ways. Second, ordering from Thriftbooks is like getting a little package present to me from me. Not to mention, third, ordering from Thriftbooks is more or less nice to my wallet.


The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

Inside by paperback, someone who had the book before me must have given it to someone as a gift. Inscribed in black sharpie marker is, "To make you cry. Love, Andy." I hope that you mean cry in a good heart wrenching book sort of way, Andy, because I have been looking forward to this read.

So far I decided to pick this book up just the other day and I love Joan Didion's writing. It is different from what I normally read I am pretty sure, yet it continues to pull me away and into the story of Joan's year...I am still waiting for the magical thinking to begin.

"From one of America’s iconic writers, a stunning book of electric honesty and passion. Joan Didion explores an intensely personal yet universal experience: a portrait of a marriage--and a life, in good times and bad--that will speak to anyone who has ever loved a husband or wife or child."


Blooming in Provence by Kristin Espinasse

Though I got this book for class out of a list I have already finished it before putting up this post. It was a super quick and interesting read. French was scattered throughout which was super helpful to pick up on a few new words.

"For American Kristin Espinasse, every encounter with the French—including her own family—is a chance to learn more than a country's language or etiquette—it is an opportunity for growth. Follow along with Kristin as she meets and overcomes obstacles along the path to French integration: sit on the edge of your seat at her wedding, when her future husband's ex shows up in a slinky dress; buckle your seat-belt when she takes the French Drivers exam; share a slice of humble pie with her as her children enlighten her, in their native tongue, about the mystery and meaning of la vie en rose."

The Mastery of Love by Miguel Ruiz

The last book shipped to me was The Mastery of Love by Miguel Ruiz. I am not a self-help spiritual book reader. At all. However, this was a book that I decided to look into after watching Annie Tarasova on Youtube. She talked about what she was reading and some of her favorite books, and this was one of them.

I feel like if there was ever a time for me to pick up a spiritual self-love sort of book it would be now.

Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

In the wanderlust mood...or trying to get in it once again after along time of simply droning on through life. Seriously, if I am going to be traveling this summer, I need to get super excited and ready for adventure.

I figured a good classic read would be Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I haven't actually read or seen this one as its movie counterpart yet! I am hoping it will be a good journey.



I am so very glad that a friend in high school sent me the link. Now, I am sharing the magic of Thriftbooks with all of you if you have not yet heard of the greatness.

How about any of you though? Have any recent book hauls to share? Any fantastic reads? Send them all my way as I try let myself fall out of stress and into reading. Wish me luck and fantastic characters to fall in love with.

As everyone knows, I absolutely LOVED The Chateau by Tiffany Reisz just as much, if not more, than the rest of her books. How could I not?

For more on my thoughts, feelings, and declarations of love for Kingsley's character, check out my review of The Chateau here.

As the Jack-of-All-Wicked-Trades for a secretive French military intelligence agency, Kingsley Boissonneault has done it all—spied, lied, and killed under orders. But his latest assignment is quite out of the ordinary. His commanding officer's nephew has disappeared inside a sex cult, and Kingsley has been tasked with bringing him home to safety. 

The cult’s holy book is Story of O, the infamous French novel of extreme sado-masochism. Their château is a looking-glass world where women reign and men are their willing slaves. Or are they willing? It’s Kingsley’s mission to find out. 

Once inside the château, however, Kingsley quickly falls under the erotic spell cast by the enigmatic Madame, a woman of wisdom, power, and beauty. She offers Kingsley the one thing he’s always wanted. But the price? Giving up forever the only person he’s ever loved.

For now while we wait for The Chateau to be released into the world on June 5th 2018, interview time with Tiffany Reisz!

Welcome to the Chateau

The cult at the center of That Chateau regards Story of 0—the infamous French erotic novel—as their "holy book." When did you first read Story of O? 

I was in my 20s. I'd heard about it but never read it. Then I read it while I was in seminary considering joining a religious order. I never joined the religious order, but I'm not sure if that was because of Story of O or not. We'll leave that to my future biographers to decide.

Inside the cult's chateau, women reign and men are their willing slaves. How did the idea for such a community come about?

Wishful thinking?

The french spy Kingsley Boissonneault—who Original Sinner fans may not better as Kingsley Edge—is 24 in this novel. What most surprised you about him at that age?

That Kingsley still has the teeniest, tiniest shard of innocence left in him even after all he's been through at that age. He's still a bit of a romantic before life turned him into the incredibly jaded (i.e. French) character we met in alter books. It is fun that now, in present day, when Kingsley finally has the love and family he craves, he's turning back into that more playful, less jaded person he is in The Chateau at age 24.

Madame is an interesting character. She's described as "a woman of wisdom, power, and beauty." Tell me more about her.

There is a very famous French dominatrix (Catherine Robbe-Grillet) who is in her 80s or 90s now and is till actively kinky. She's an incredibly classy, elegant older woman with white hair and I find her fascinating. I think my Madame is how I imagine Robbe-Grillet at a younger age. The Vanity Fair profile of Catherine Robbe-Grillet begins with this line: "[She] makes Fifty Shades of Grey look like a Disney movie." Madame makes Mistress Nora look like a Disney Princess.

"Through the looking glass" is a theme that comes up several times in The Chateau. What's the significance of the looking glass?

That Chateau isn't simply a story about a previously unexplored time in Kingsley's life (when he was a spy in his 20s). It's also an origin story of sorts about the kingdom Kingsley will later build in New York for all his kinky friends. Kingsley and Nora both employ Alice in Wonderland and Through-the-Looking-Glass imagery in their kinky lives. This book shows where Kingsley first encountered the concept of living a kinky life as going "through the looking glass."

You've written suspense before (your gothic suspense The Lucky Ones was recently published by Mira Books), but this is your first real thriller. How did your writing process differ on this book?

This book was much easier to write than The Lucky Ones. With Kingsley, all you ave to do is conjure him up and drop him into a weird situation and you'll have fun as a reader and a writer. The pitch was, "Kingsley goes on an erotic adventure inside a femme-domme cult." The story pretty much wrote itself. It's James Bond with blow jobs, BDSM, and an angst-ridden bisexual hero still in love with his ex-boyfriend.

Other Original Sinners characters show up or are eluded to, including a certain blond priest...

There's so much Søren in this book, it's silly. He's all over the book from the first page to the last. That's because you can't have a Kingsley book without Søren. It would be like bread without butter, day without night, sadism without masochism. Kingsley cannot be understood as a person or a character without Søren. Søren is his creator. There would be no Kingsley as we know him if he'd never met Søren.

After eight books in the Original Sinners series, The Chateau is the first full-length standalone set in the Original Sinners universe. Why did you decide to step outside of the series format for this book?

I had conceived the idea for The Chateau a long time ago as a spiritual sequel to Story of O, but Kingsley wasn't a character in it. But the idea kept falling flat for me. When I threw Kingsley into the mix and made him my O who gets thrown int this weird kinky world, the book came to life.

What's next for the Original Sinners?

In October, 8th Circle Press is releasing Picture Perfect Cowboy, which is an Original Sinners standalone novel (category-romance length). It stars Simone, Søren's backup whipping girl who works at The 8th Circle, and a new character, Jason Waters, a retired rodeo champion who's deeply conflicted between his kinky impulses and his incredibly conservative family and upbringing. Simone is the cure for what ails him! Søren and Mistress Nora both make big cameos in Picture Perfect Cowboy.

Excerpt from The Chateau

“Don’t speak,” the woman said. It was the voice from the phone, who'd ordered him to wait at the hotel. “Only speak when I ask you a direct question. I’ll speak in French. You answer in English. If someone is eavesdropping it’ll make it a little harder on them. Do you understand?”

Comprenez-vous?

“Yes,” Kingsley said, en anglais. He wondered how she knew he knew English. Had his American accent been that convincing?

“I’m going to touch you,” she said. “If you have an objection to that, then I don’t know why you’re here.”

Again, Kingsley did not speak. He had absolutely no objection to being touched. Not by her, anyway.

He waited, eyes closed, and felt a soft touch on his head, a stroke of fingers through his hair.

“You lied to me,” she said.

Kingsley tensed, but didn’t speak. He knew better than to say anything to that sort of accusation.

“You told me you were handsome. You aren’t,” she said. “You’re exquisite.”

Kingsley almost said something to that. Something like, “Will that be a problem?” But she’d only made a statement. Until she asked a question, he wasn’t allowed to speak.

“If I were a painter, you’d be my muse,” she said. “You belong in oils on canvas.”

Not being allowed to say “thank you” to a compliment of that magnitude was mild torture.

She stroked his hair again. His eyes were open, but he couldn’t see her as she stood beyond the farthest edge of his peripheral vision. That explained partly why the curtains had to be closed. Otherwise he could have seen her reflection in the window.

She touched his forehead and now Kingsley felt the silk of gloves against his skin. Her touch was gentle, soothing, and the second he relaxed into it, she put a knife to his throat.

Kingsley froze.

“I don’t want to kill you,” she said.

That made two of them.

“Very good,” she said. “Even with a knife at your throat you hold your tongue. Someone’s trained you very well.”

Kingsley still did not speak. He knew he could overpower her if he needed to, but would she make a fatal stab first? Better to wait it out, behave, play along.

“Someone sent you to me. Who was it and what did he tell you?” she asked. “If you tell me even one lie I will slit your throat. And yes, I will know if you lie.”

She’d asked him one direct question. Therefore he was allowed to speak.

“I’m employed by an intelligence agency without a name,” he said. “French military. Officially unofficial. Leon isn’t my friend. He’s my commanding officer’s nephew. They think you’re holding him against his will. They asked me to get him out. If he wants out.”

“Leon is your commanding officer’s nephew,” she repeated, sounding amused. “So that’s the game, is it?”

“I don’t care about the boy,” he said. Kingsley wasn’t sure what she meant by “the game.” He hoped he lived long enough to find out.

“Then why did you come here?”

“My own reasons.”

“You wish to serve, do you?”

Kingsley whispered, “Yes.”





8th Circle Press is a Lexington, Kentucky-based publisher of literary friction, publishing the work of international bestseller Tiffany Reisz, New York Times bestseller Andrew Shaffer, and others.


*Interview and excerpt provided by 8th Circle Press along with a galley copy of The Chateau for review.

I looked at her and thought that she was someone that I could never compare with. Perhaps I never would. She was older (by about 8 months), taller (I think her lankiness had more to do with it), and had hair that no boy in Northside elementary school couldn't comment on as silky beautiful. Mine looked like a puffy mouse fought about by my mother and I the morning before. My brilliant friend challenged and lead me to lead a life that I may not have without her.

My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante has a similar notion which couldn't stop me from finding pieces of my childhood, many years after when the novel was set, within each of the pages.



Once I was able to tell my friend about each book I read. Every detail. Whether she listened, that was another thing. Though none of the books were Little Women as the two characters Elena Greco and Lila Cerullo bond over, in both instances, literature has somehow intertwined in my life the way it has these characters as well.

Stories after all from the first page of an older Elena setting down to write about her brilliant friend, is what draws this novel along whether it be in physical pages or creating a story of their own as they grow and see the world for the problematic and at times, existential place it can be.

"A modern masterpiece from one of Italy's most acclaimed authors, My Brilliant Friend is a rich, intense and generous hearted story about two friends, Elena and Lila. Ferrante's inimitable style lends itself perfectly to a meticulous portrait of these two women that is also the story of a nation and a touching meditation on the nature of friendship. Through the lives of these two women, Ferrante tells the story of a neighborhood, a city and a country as it is transformed in ways that, in turn, also transform the relationship between her two protagonists."

Seriously, this book is so good. I have read the entire quartet over this past summer and still can't quite find my words in the way I need to in order to review and talk about this novel as a whole without pulling in the rest of the four book story with justice.

I had not heard of Elena Ferrante previously. Not until recently when the novelist became more of a THING. Articles everywhere. TV and movie options turning into HBO's new exciting television endeavor. I see why she has become such a phenomenon. This anonymous author is a writer of such a magnificent quartet of novels that take on the violence both impressed upon by outside forces and by the characters on themselves.





The characters which drive this life of a story. From young children to adults, our main characters let the reader follow them through it all from childhood rock throwing and school worries, figuring out who they are as actual people, to how it feels to become a mother. Womanly experience and human confusion as the characters were thrown from place to place and taking in different understandings of the lives around them was definitely something I could find myself relating to even though I hate to be one of those people who refer to a novel as explaining "the human experience" like literary masters.

No matter who you are, emotion is captured in the words Ferrante writes so that anyone can find it within themselves somewhere along the line if they are willing to let themselves fall into said words. Really, I think that is the big take away.

I felt as if I was reading a very deeply intimate telling of someone's life too hard to describe in only paragraphs unless you would like a full spoiler-y recap. How could this book, this series, be fantastic lies after all when it all feels so real? It is a new mark for me of when I know a story is truly something to talk about. No wonder everyone has been.

About the Author

Elena Ferrante is a pseudonymous Italian novelist.

Girl Boss is the greatest binge-able re-watchable show I have found since beginning my Netflix endevours.

How dare they cancel it.

Yes, I know, old news. I even knew it half way in to watching the series the first time around. I am still mad at the cancellation however, even if I don't know where they would have went with the show after last episode of season one. For once in TV storytelling history though, I was willing to let whoever produced Girl Boss to take the risk.

Girl Boss is based off the life and book Girlboss written and lived by Sophia Amoruso who became CEO of a controversial fashion brand, Nasty Gal-- and also I have found has a great Instagram which obviously only makes me admire this rags to riches story more.

When trying to explain the show to my friend and she had to understand, I explained it like this.

"You know that brand Nasty Gal that years ago you might have seen being sold on Nordstrom?"

"Oh, yeah. I think so."

"Well this show is loosely based on how it came to be from a vintage ebay shop."

Britt Robertson as Sophia Marlowe in the jacket that changed everything (Photo: Karen Ballard/Netflix)

(Right away, as I continue to talk about this show, I should note that the show is only loosely based off Nasty Gal's Sophia Amoruso's life. Though I will take that into account, Girlboss will be seen as the storytelling and entertainment that it is rather than a take on true/false events.)

The Writing...

is fantastic.

A little rocky in the first two episodes (I caught myself debating if I should actually care about the cast presented), the writing grew as the characters did. From the stealing and truly unlikable Sophia Marlowe that the viewer spent so much time being convinced she was, she turned into a business minded woman who may not be lying when she proclaims that she "got it all figured out."

The comedic moments and a great soundtrack follows Sophia through about two years of her life. Each holds strong not only to move this unconventional plot line of past and present moments together, but moments for the viewer to connect to the emotions that Sophia is going through, but doesn't often share for fear of being rejected or abandoned as she was by her mother, causing conflict among her own self-views and realationships.

As a messy and somewhat of a obnoxious character that somehow relates to us all at some point in life, I was draw in to press next episode before the ten seconds could even count down for more ups, downs, and in-betweens in Sophia's adventure through vintage fashion and consumerism.

Unlikable Heroine IRL 

The most common negativity towards the show I hear is the idea that Sophia is an unlikable character. This may be true, actually described in the show's description as an anarchist, but at 23 years old, who isn't a slightly unlikable human being? Most don't know what they are doing in life quite yet. It is frustrating, and time and time again, disappointing. An unlikable skin is what many are told to arm themselves with in this world of hyper-competitiveness.

In this, I found the character development not only different, but refreshingly real.

From the beginning though, sure, I will admit that Sophia is pretty much everything that everyone says is wrong with millennials today. They are set up as selfish, rude, never on time for anything, and don't want to grow up in the corporate system that those before them have.

As the old woman on the bench she uses as a free therapist says, "You're generation is so fucked up."

No wonder not everyone could like Sophia. Maybe, they just saw too much of themselves.

If that is the case, like Sophia, you are going to end up rooting for her in hopes that we will also find success in being messy sometimes terrible people having multiple existential crises in a week.

Luckily, Sophia has a great friend, Annie (played by Ellie Reed) to keep things light, fun, and to remind ourselves that in life, one great friend is all you may need.

Strong Portrayal of Friendship

Everyone needs that ride or die friend, and though Annie is a strong character I have found doesn't actually exist (sadly) within the real Amoruso's life, the message still holds and makes me wonder if there is a forum to find my own bff who will proclaim "I love you in case I die." Plus, I can not pass up the opportunity to praise someone who manages to look fabulously classy while having all the penis jokes ready to go when drawing a countdown to Nasty Gal launch thermometer on the wall in one of the final episodes...or whatever that thing is that strongly resembled a penis.

Sometimes side characters, or that side-kick character, gets the brunt of the unlikable story line to put our main heroine in the spotlight. In Girlboss however, this is definitely not the case. It appears Netflix producers and writers have done a flip with normal character convention. For once it is not the heroine, Sophia, who is going to save the day even if she does create Nasty Gal. Annie, not only helps wherever she can in the business side of Nasty Gal's production, also swoops in to save the day on multiple occasions just by being her bubbly self.

Annie is the crucial reminder to Sophia to be a good friend to not only her, but a good person with emotions overall, rather than a "garbage person," a phrase Sophia is described as within the only episode Annie is not.

Coincidence?

Britt Robertson as Sophia Marlowe (Photo: Karen Ballard/Netflix)

A Dream of Success...and Actual Success

Because by the end of Girlboss, Sophia definitely knows the difference.

As Sophia Amoruso said during a conference, "You don't learn in your peaks; your learn in your valleys."

Netflix's Girlboss certainly maintains that idea through the rough times of Sophia Marlowe fails or almost fails at her dream. A few examples include when ebay and other shops turn against her vintage selling ideals, modern stores taking inspiration from actual vintage items Sophia planned to sell, and (what I believe is the turning point of what made me love the show in episode 4) when she has to man up and literally run a wedding dress across the feared Golden Gate Bridge after having a wine induced night with artist friend, Nathan, and his mother who wore the robe seen in the all too real photo above.

The road to success is rocky and not everyone believes in her, including her father and many viewers of the show apparently, but in the end she does what she has to do. She pushes forth and succeeds at the dream she created online in a heap of polyester and badass leather jackets.

Now...

“So that Netflix series about my life got canceled. While I’m proud of the work we did, I’m looking forward to controlling my narrative from here on out," Amoruso wrote online in the wake of the news. "It was a good show, and I was privileged to work with incredible talent, but living my life as a caricature was hard even if only for two months. Yes, I can be difficult. No, I’m not a dick. No, someone named Shane never cheated on me. It will be nice to someday tell the story of what’s happened in the last few years. Ppl read the headline, not the correction, I’ve learned."

Though I can only imagine what it is to have a show based off your life only for your life to be caricatured to extremes, I take the show for what it is. Entertainment of the best sort... the kind that inspires.

And plan to read the book ASAP.

We all need a little #Girlboss in our life.



Season 1 of Girlboss is currently streaming on Netflix.

Through the looking glass we go.

The amount of Alice in Wonderland references that Tiffany Reisz dishes out always sits really well with me. It mixes the raw reality of sexy young and broken Kingsley with the sort of magic I can only hope I fall down the rabbit hole into in my life.



For now I will only say that I had previously thought before reading The Chateau that I couldn't like Kingsley any more than I already did- but I was wrong. I love him so so much more.

Not only is Kingsley the sexy and cocky Original Sinner I grew to love from the red years book one, but now everyone can love him too in this standalone erotic thriller. It goes a little something like putting a much more kinky James Bond in a sex cult. But a fun femme-domme sort of sex cult. In a chateau! A cult that Kingsley somehow, yet of course obviously, fits into in all the best ways as he is put on a mission to find and possibly retrieve the stray nephew of his slightly unsettling colonel who apparently just doesn't want anyone to have any fun.

But fun, sexy times, and intrigue of all sorts is what we have.

Oddly enough, I have always considered Kingsley the original sinner I scarily say that if I could mix him with a little bit of Michael, I relate to the most in a weird alternate universe sort of way.

Maybe that looking glass universe is the one where I didn't  email in desperate need of an advance reader's copy. A few weeks ago as I was online (probably Instagram) when I came across the excitement of a snipet from The Chateau. Below in the comments however, the June 5th publication date suddenly stuck out to me.

June 5th?




I could have been one of those fabulous people who toss their hair and say, "Well I won't be in the country then." Only instead of doing that, I wrote a ranty email about how Tiffany Reisz books are some of my favorite of all time, plus, bonus if I got the early copy: I could scream about how sexy Kingsley is across the very boarders of France, if it so pleased the ARC giving gods.

An email in reply much more casually told me of course, I was already on the special list, and sent me along possibly the most beautiful copy of a book ever. The cover is very soft and gets floppy as you read it in all the right ways.

It was a very good Monday mail day.

I got to reading right away.

As the Jack-of-All-Wicked-Trades for a secretive French military intelligence agency, 24-year-old Lieutenant Kingsley Boissonneault has done it all—spied, lied, and killed under orders. But his latest assignment is quite out of the ordinary. His commanding officer's nephew has disappeared inside a sex cult, and Kingsley has been tasked with bringing him home to safety. 

The cult’s holy book is Story of O, the infamous French novel of extreme sado-masochism. Their château is a looking-glass world where women reign and men are their willing slaves. Or are they willing? It’s Kingsley’s mission to find out. 

Once inside the château, however, Kingsley quickly falls under the erotic spell cast by the enigmatic Madame, a woman of wisdom, power, and beauty. She offers Kingsley the one thing he’s always wanted. But the price? Giving up forever the only person he’s ever loved.

First off, though you didn't need to read Story of O, but I am really glad that I have previously read it before devouring The Chateau. Without reading it I feel like I wouldn't have the full insight of what Kingsley and our new mind bending sadist, Madame, understood about the story and how it intertwined itself within the lives of those who serve in the chateau.

One who served in this novel of course was Kingsley. O' Kingsley O' Kingsley. Because we must come to terms with the not so sad fact that we can't have a Kingsley without great banter, a flawed past, and enough hot sex to go around to keep you on your toes.

Or knees.

Whatever suits your fancy.

What suited me was this plot. From the first page I couldn't stop turning them. My boyfriend one night had to turn out the light, toss the book across the room, and tell me to sleep. Each scene and dramatic reveal of characters and momentary cameos, and backstories I only previously imagined from reading the Original Sinners series however, kept me from sleeping a few hours more.

At that point sure I only had one chapter left. Turning around in bed, I cursed my boyfriend. He laughed.

“Real sadism is an art form. I’m an art lover, and you, right now, you’re the Louvre. Tell me more about how he hurt you and let me see your face while you do.”

No matter what I read of Tiffany's so far, I enjoy it immensely. I completely loved this book in all of its twists, but to be honest, I REALLY love these characters. Every time I open a story of hers, especially from the original sinner crew, I feel like I am returning to old friends. Tiffany manages to bring them back to life and further into my heart.

Though I definitely believe that to get the full wonderful experience from this stunning novel you should read all the Original Sinner's books and fall in love with Kingsley, The Chateau could also be read as a stand alone.

Happy sinning and happy reading, Reisz fans.

This book does not disappoint in the least.

Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado was put into my hands completely on accident last summer at Book Expo. I even got it signed my Carmen, completely unaware of who she was as a writer compared to what I know of her writing now as I finally fell into this collection of dark and gritty stories that emphasis in a haunting sort of way the violence that is put onto women by those around us and ourselves.

A wife refuses her husband's entreaties to remove the green ribbon from around her neck. A woman recounts her sexual encounters as a plague slowly consumes humanity. A salesclerk in a mall makes a horrifying discovery within the seams of the store's prom dresses. One woman's surgery-induced weight loss results in an unwanted houseguest. And in the bravura novella Especially Heinous, Machado reimagines every episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, a show we naively assumed had shown it all, generating a phantasmagoric police procedural full of doppelgangers, ghosts, and girls with bells for eyes.

From the first story, The Husband Stitch, I was completely enthralled by what these stories had in store for me. Not only was the writing deeply written, pulling me in, but the story itself had little places for me to pause and catch myself. In those moments I began to notice certain things like the varying pace and how the stories the narrator was explaining about in between going through her life were the horror stories from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark I read as a child.

The atmosphere was set to already be something completely different and unusual. Now it was set in the peculiar setting of a piece of my life.



Maybe now though, this story is a much more resonate scary story for myself now. It does continue to haunt my mind even as I write this review. Overall, between The Husband Stitch and Mother's, they may tie for my favorite from the short story collection.

“Many people live and die without ever confronting themselves in the darkness.”

Her Body and Other Parties presents a collection of close experiences that provide a sexually charged intrigued and eerie tone that continually kept me reading and up into the night thinking about the hidden meanings within each story until I finished. When attempting to explain this collection to someone else, I find it hard to. Only I must tell them to be prepared for hard hitting  and overall haunting realism infused with magic, horror, and something completely different from what I have previously been reading possibly ever.

More short story collections will be read by me to come after this one. This book not only broadened my mind, but my reading horizons for sure.






Carmen Maria Machado is a fiction writer, critic, and essayist whose work has appeared in The New Yorker, Granta, AGNI, NPR, VICE, Best American Science Fiction & Fantasy 2015, Best Horror of the Year, Year’s Best Weird Fiction, and Best Women’s Erotica. She has been the recipient of a Millay Colony for the Arts residency, the CINTAS Foundation Fellowship in Creative Writing, the Elizabeth George Foundation Fellowship, and a Michener-Copernicus Fellowship, as well as nominated for a Nebula and Shirley Jackson Awards and longlisted for a Tiptree Award. She is a graduate of the Iowa Writers’ Workshop and the Clarion Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers’ Workshop, and lives in Philadelphia with her partner.

I am writing this with a possibly jammed pointer finger, so readers, appreciate my reading wrap up for March 2018, even if really I am not sure what I am going say since to be honest, all my reads were pretty good. I am hoping that April will be even better as I commence my nightly reading before bed. Reading after all, is one of my top ten things I am trying to do more of or better in attempt to change my life this year.



In a stop at Barnes and Nobel while on a crepe and ballet adventure, two books ended up in my hands and taken up to the pinched faced cashier who looked at my first read of the month with a questionable stare. I smiled and paid for Slutever by Karley Sciortino, trying not to let my anxiety get the best of me.

If I had, I would not have been able to read the funny and interesting memoir that takes place throughout Karley's life as an eighteen year old who moved out to London on her own. Through squatting adventures and sexual encounters in the many years to come, I got further into her life than I had read on her blog (also entitled, Slutever) and in the end yes, did actually feel quite empowered to embrace whatever slutty endevours life may put before me. Live and all that.

The other book I took up to the counter with me got less of a once over than Slutever. If only the cashier knew about Tiffany Reisz's fabulous novels up to The Lucky Ones- A book which per usual did not disappoint.

Though I will admit that I have a strong relationship with the Original Sinners series which will make some of those books among my favorite Tiffany Reisz (and in general) books of all time, The Lucky Ones was a strong and interesting novel that continues to stretch Tiffany's genre bounds for the better. This time, in a suspense novel with a slight gothic feel to it that created an eerie and intriguing atmosphere that kept me reading until late at night.

I couldn't go to sleep after all not knowing what happened.



While I was also home on spring break, I tried to make it my mission to read. Along with The Lucky Ones, I also read on recommendation from my dude guy, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. I think I remember this being on a reading list in high school which is probably why I never read it before. Hitchhiker's Guide was definitely not my usual reading, but I enjoyed the change of pace none the less with its strong irony and strangeness overall.

After reading it, I changed genre once more and went to a light contemporary, Luck Love & Lemon Pie by Amy E. Reichert. Though I can never dislike Amy's books, they are light and quick, but that is it. Though enjoyable, they leave me wanting more from the characters or story. In this case, it was the character which at the end made me even a little angry for thinking all the problems that began in the very beginning with her marriage were entirely her fault...I don't know...just me, I guess- but hey, here I am still thinking about it so that has to account for something.

My last book I read in March 2018 was a books that has been sitting on my TBR for way longer than it should have when I got the ARC at Book Expo back in June.  Her Body and other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado, a collection of short stories, was absolutely fantastic. It was strong and haunting in a very odd way that makes me feel like she would be great at writing a richly plotted horror novel.

I have never really read a collection of short stories on my own, but I am so glad that I did and I definitely will be reading more in the future by Carmen and others. Another section of genre I may even try to put my own foot into when trying to write in the future perhaps. Though I doubt any of my writing will be as otherworldly.

Within the month of March by the looks of it, I read about five new books. Some good, some great.

My next read to start off April strong is going to be The Chateau by Tiffany Reisz. Sexy Kingsley in France with a cult of women who's holy book is the Story of O?

Count me in. Avec plaisir.

UPDATE: I have finished The Chateau early and it is still March. It was amazing. I LOVED it and Kingsley and everything about it...an actual review will be to come along with many random talks until it is released in June for all of you to rant and enjoy this lovely beauty of a book with me.


Any great reads come your way that this?

Since beginning my small press class, I feel like perhaps I have finally found the opportunity that I fit into within the publishing world instead of just the hopeful writer one. My graduation date approaches and my publication date continues to be pushed back along with the idea of ever being able to finish this draft of my novel, and so maybe these facts have also given me an insentient into looking at actual job prospects.

I would still like to hide in the keys of my laptop rather than not being argued with after I proclaim during class that I "think I talk to much."



Which is probably true. Everyone else doesn't talk so then I get awkward and proclaim how I enjoyed the prostitute piece the most so far in the 2018 Pushcart.

I have strange tastes.

Entertaining tastes?

Taste.

This month though with my bounty of classes and trying to keep up with the blog while not freaking out, my reading habits have been on the decline. A decline that while I continue to embark on the outlook of optimism, I tell myself I can't let happen. Even though I did. Do. I am trying okay? I hate to think that I actually have to try when it comes to reading these days, but I do, and that is the best I can do.

That best, if I am being honest however, means I only read one book this month while working on another. I have, on the other hand, read six literary magazines either online or in print. Though I will never say that I prefer them over a good fat novel, I think I found a good solution for that reading in, or between classes situation I have been missing since high school.

But onward to the real reads. In February, the first thing I read was The Glass Eye by Jeannie Vanasco. In case you didn't already hear or read my response? review? book talk? I LOVED it. I read it until there was no more to read and I am pretty sure that sooner rather than later I am going to read it again so that it can either inspire or cause me to fully doubt myself as writer from admiration.

The Glass Eye started February off right, and it is definitely on my favorite books of all time. I don't know if it hit me in the right moment or what, but the writing was as absolutely gorgeous as the story Jeannie had to tell, both for her father, and herself. I cannot wait to read more from her.

After that wonderful debut memoir though comes the lit mags. All the journals! Ready?

I started the month with New England Review from 2017. I won't deny , like many of these journals, this was for class. It was however, one of the first ever real like print literary magazines that I have owned. I tried to cherish it accordingly even though it was for class and I was stressing about my annotations/response to the magazine as a whole being late.

This is a main reason for why I normally think that the average required novel reading in classes are slightly unrealistic. No matter what the novel- it could be the best in the world -I will at least not like it or enjoy it in the slightest with the responsibility each chapter reading weighing on my back. Each second I am not trying to think about what the author must have "meant" by making the curtains blue I am worried I am somehow reading wrong which is absolutely ridiculous.

But enough of my issues with education's reading curriculum.

After reading the pushcart and doing a little more digging, I found as well that I had a love for stories that were published in The Paris Review. On eBay I found a few of the previous issues and bought them. Three coming in the mail like little presents to me from me as the semester hit that winter droning point. So far out the three, I have read Issue 202. If that doesn't ring a bell, I remember them by cover. So, the purple one with the whimsical flower design from 2012.

Around the time of getting this magazine, my boyfriend had attempted to implement a hour before bed reading time so that homework wouldn't cause burn out. Having that hour for the few days that it lasted got me a good dent into the magazine and only confirmed my admiration for the publication.

We really need to reinstate reading time.

The last two print magazines that I read included Ploughshares Spring 2017 issue  in one night before deadline. I sat in the dusty chair in the physics lab while my dude guy played with the fancy new #D printer. I just sort of read and took notes and suffered a bit on the inside. The second of the last print mags was Ecotone's 10th Anniversary edition from last year-- AKA. the one with the gorgeous, not to mention that kind of matte soft you just want to hold all day, cover.

Online wise, I read an older edition of PANK for class- the 10.5 issue.

To round out the month, for class I also read a good portion of the 2017 publications in Little Fiction Big Truths online. I actually found myself able to enjoy this publication completely after figuring out the website, both because I wasn't doing the assignment for it the night before due date, and the stories were entertaining- a quality I find more and more necessary in a piece of writing rather it being literary with a capital L.

And what am I reading now, you ask? Well remember it is February and that means that two of my books I was so hyped about are now available! Both of them are also in my hands right now...or on my desk if we are being literal. So, get ready for some talk about Slutever by Karley Sciortino because it is sure to be coming in all the best ways.

I am sure that coming up Tiffany Reisz's The Lucky Ones won't disappoint either.


Happy last day of the shortest month, everyone. Now we just have to hope there are no surprises before spring arrives.

Last year to be honest, I thought the releases in the book world fell a little flat. Or didn't really happen at all. In 2018 however, I already am looking forward to quite a few books in the near future . Soon they will hopefully be taking up space in my book bag and time away from my studies already causing me stress.



Will there ever be a time when all I have to do in life is cuddle up in a good blanket and read?

We can hope. If it ever happens in the near future I will be reading a few of these...

Recently released, I still need to get my hands on Slutever: a memior and manifesto by Karley Sciortino. A long time reader of her blog, I have so much respect for this lovely lady. If I had the confidence to talk about what me and my boyfriend text back and forth over the phone I doubt I would ever have any sort of social anxiety again. Or at least not on the internet.

I linked the Barnes edition above, but really, not going to lie. The cover I see on Amazon is way more pin-up badass. Will that be the one that comes or...are we slut shaming a bit over there, Barnes & Nobel? Huh? Answer me and send me the pretty edition!

"SLUTEVER is a call-to-arms, a confessional memoir, a slut manifesto, as told by a sex-radical hedonist in a pink PVC mini dress. It's a thoughtful, first-person account of a modern woman, navigating sex, love, casual hookups, open relationships,, bisexuality, BDSM, breakups, sex work, sex parties, and the power of sexual agency, as told from the front lines."

Also coming out this month is The Lucky Ones by Tiffany Reisz. If you know me at all, we can pretty much say that I am just excited about this because, well, Tiffany Reisz. As I have said previously, I would read basically anything she writes. Hard core fan, yep, right over here.

"Allison pieces together the story of her life, she learns the terrible secret at the heart of the family she once loved but never really knew."

I barely even know what the book is about, but I am completely a-okay with that as long as this pretty paperback appears in my hands soon after the release date.



Years ago in the years of my young adult fanatic stage of great books like City of Bones and Vampire Academy, one of the best lyrical beautiful fantasy dystopias EVER was Shatter Me. Restore Me by Tahereh Mafi is the trilogy now becoming a whole series. I am excited and I only hope that the writing will be just as wonderful and inspiring.

"The girl with the power to kill with a single touch now has the world in the palm of her hand."

When I saw that A Court of Frost and Starlight by Sarah J. Maas was coming out everywhere in May, I paused. I thought...weren't we done with A Court of...? Didn't I already cry for these beautiful characters that formed my recent book family? Apparently we are not done being tortured yet.

"As Feyre navigates her first Winter Solstice as High Lady, she finds that those dearest to her have more wounds than she anticipated—scars that will have far-reaching impact on the future of their Court."

Still...count me in for a beautiful Night Court winter solstice- And a great reading year.

What does everyone else have on their 2018 reading radar so far?

This year, reading and I were like distant cousins at a family reunion. We said hi, had a few good things to say to each other and then sort of left it at that. I don't know why, but for me this reading year has been strange.

According to Goodreads I have only read approximately a little under 50 books not counting my many rereads this past year, visiting old favorites. Still, it is a low number for someone who took three books out at a time to return them within a day or two to the library in high school. It is jarring.

It does not mean that I do not have a few favorites of the year to share with you all however...

New to 2017

Looking back over my reads for the year, I knew this one was going to be on the list since the moment I finished reading it, and here it is. The Red by Tiffany Reisz was beautiful gorgeous artsy porn and I loved every minute of it. I have a review up as well if you need more convincing.

The Upside of Unrequited

I was not expecting this book in the least. While in a reading rut this past summer, I picked up this book that I got from the OwlCrate stand at Book Expo. Going in, I knew pretty much nothing only to be laughing alongside quirky and interesting characters finding first love. And you know what? I loved it. It was just the happy making sort of book I needed and I definitely think that a reread may be in order for this contemporary YA soon.

A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas

If you have not read A Court of Thorns and Roses, you definitely need to get on that. The third book in this trilogy? series? was amazing and I love all the characters so much that they are practically my much cooler fae family. Though this book was great, the second, A Court of Wings and Fury still holds my heart the most.

Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor

After reading Laini Taylor and her strange musings in Daughter of Smoke and Bone I knew that I was going to have to pick up this pretty thing of a series starter and go in to reading it just as confused as her other novels. I was not dissapointed by the Strange in the title. It was strange and a magical fantasy I didn't realize I needed in my life to take a break from reality. Laini, I am not sure how you do it, seriously I don't, but don't stop.

The Night Mark by Tiffany Resiz

Another Tiffany Reisz novel, you ask? Why of course! It deserves it. Time travel romance with great banter, historical lighthouse content, some sauciness thrown in, it the least erotica of all Tiffany's books, but still absolutely fantastic. Tiffany can do it all, folks!

New to Me 2017

My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante

I have been wanting to read this book for some time. Whenever I went to get it at the bookstore however, I was with someone who reminded me how ugly the cover was and did I really need that ugly covered book? I can answer the question now. Yes, yes I did. This is a coming of age epic about two friends in Neapolitan Italy who take very different paths in their lives. This is the first book of the four book series that spans through child, young adulthood, through when our main characters have children themselves. This book is simply life and hardship and I loved the so much and now plan to devour all of Elena Ferrante's work.

All The Ugly and Wonderful Things by Bryn Greenwood

This was my first book of the year! It always seems to happen that my first book of the year manages to make its way onto my favorites list. This year was no different. All the Ugly and Wonderful Things is what this story captures through a morally compelling and beautifully told story. I loved this one so much I even have a review to go along with it.


The Wrath and the Dawn by Renee Ahdieh

When I forget my love of reading, a need a really good, fun, and fast pace read to help me through. This was the book that did that for me in the spring this past year as I was finishing up my first year at college while undergoing the process of transfer papers. This was a magical young adult fantasy-esque novel loosely based on 1001 nights. Our main character is snarky and strong and I immediately needed the second book in this duology right after.

The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

I bought this one a think a year prior and finally got to this massive fantasy. I will tell you what I was told about it. It is great. One of the best true fantasy novels I have read. If you like fantasy, read it.


A recent read and add in, The Secret History beguiled me much like everyone else who read it- and not just because the fictional school sounded strangely like the one I was hoping to apply to when I was searching for colleges two years ago. There was a mystery surrounding the words and characters that made you want to join into the story with Richard Pen who believes that his fatal flaw is longing for the picturesque at all costs.

Honorable Last Minute Mentions...